We woke Christmas Eve day to find the world huddled under a thick comforter of snow. The branches of our neighbor's cedar tree hanging a little lower under the weight of their new cover. Roads, driveways, parking lots, the hill next door turned into skating rinks and sledding slopes.
For a moment, standing on my doorstep, taking in the snowy quiet, it felt like Christmases past, when being out of school meant nothing to worry about other than occasionally finding myself with nothing to do...those rare moments of boredom easily cured with a book or a TV special or "helping" my mom in the kitchen (at least I always thought I was helping, but if my mother is anything like I am in the kitchen, and I suspect she is, my "help" was probably more of a hindrance). But, the moment quietly skirted away as we jumped into the car to begin a day of errands and busyness...picking up last minute gifts, a run to the bank, baking for Christmas Eve dinner with no water in the kitchen, back out to exchange something we'd purchased earlier in the morning...
In the midst of the scurrying, the holiday goes by in a blink. Every year I think "it just doesn't feel like Christmas". What I have come to realize is that I will never again experience Christmas the way I did as a child. There is no more anticipation of Santa's arrival or running out of my room on Christmas day to discover my stocking had been filled magically overnight. Gone are the days of eating Christmas tea ring (a long braided cinnamon roll shaped into a circle) and opening gifts at the crack of dawn, still in our pajamas.
Christmas as an adult seems so much more anti-climatic.
But, there are moments when I feel like a kid again, even if just for a minute....moments made up of homemade gifts and decorating the tree, drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream, the first snowball fight of the year and snow angels, a quiet afternoon spent playing Yahtzee, a house full of family....opening the one gift I'd dreamt of, but never expected to receive (and still can't believe I got it!!! Holy smokes!).
It's those moments that made Christmas Christmas for me this year....and it turned out to be a pretty amazing Christmas after all :)
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