I have days where I am sure that I am in the wrong profession. Moments when I have no idea why I thought I could be a counselor and I have no doubt that I am in way over my head. I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio impersonating a doctor in "Catch Me if You Can". As if my only qualifications and training are a forged license and watching medical dramas.
Do you concur?
I concur.
A student pours out her problems in my office, her frustration and pain and I sit across the desk, like Leo looking at the broken tibia, mind reeling with what to say or what to do to make the situation better.
I have no idea.
Listen and reflect.
I sound like a parrot though...
Does this girl know that I have no idea what to say to her right now?
Silence can be therapeutic right? F. Think of something profound to say...
Is now a good time to ask an open ended question?
"Sweetie, we have to talk to your parents. They need to know what happened."
Shoot! She's crying. Offer Kleenex....now what?
Explain. Empathize. Listen. Reflect.
Good God, why am I a counselor?
She leaves my office and I sit in the silence and cry because I feel like I have failed her. Even when I know, deep down, that my decision was right, she can't see that and in her eyes I have made everything worse. I have betrayed her. I feel like the worst person on the planet.
Is it 3:00 yet? Nope...it's 11:07. Awesome.
12:25. She's back. Not crying. That's a good sign, right?
"So, I'm calmer now. And I think that even though it's hard for me to hear, you are right. I'm scared but I do think talking to my parents will help. I wrote them a letter, can I read it to you and you can tell me what you think?.....Thanks for listening to me...."
Maybe I'm not the worst person on the planet after all.
After school, another student comes and shows me a floral arrangement she made in one of her classes.
"I made it for you. They're real too".
Maybe I am in the right job after all.
And I do love it.
I sure won't mind the 5 day break though! :)
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